Battles Within

Whispering wind, silent cries

A pain that awakens and never dies

A touch of love never to be mine

A feeling that fades more in time

They want me to believe this is livin’

Just a person hallowed out by everything that I’ve given

Sometimes I want to fight back

Think that maybe I’m on the right track

But then my mind grows tired and my body – it’s weak

I can’t fight anymore and my outlook turns bleak

You see these wars that I wage are battles within

I’m dying inside and these walls that I’ve built yeah, they start to thin

They were built so long ago they’re cracking and beginning to crumble

The lines I drew to separate and divide all start to blur and I begin to stumble

Don’t take it personal it really is me not you

I change my mind every day so I’ll take the blame for you not knowing what to do

I am like a roller coaster grab a seat and hitch a ride

You don’t like to hang on when I’m low but you sure have fun when I’m high

Before I plummet to the bottom make sure you’re fastened in tight

Because I can easily take a wrong turn in the blink of an eye

You smile politely and say you don’t mind

But I feel this distance between us growing with time

My mind has been leaking out into this world that I know

With feelings of rage, love and hate things used to be easier not to show

But the older I get the weaker I grow unsure of what to believe

With my mind and boundaries of reality beginning to interweave

This life that I live is not a life of my own

Depite how mean I can be my heart still isn’t stone

I’ll stand here out in the cold tongue-tied

And as I watch you turn to go everything shatters inside

But you can’t stay by my side because I’m sick in the head

When I can’t see the light I think everyone’s better off if I’m dead

My mind constantly changing like the design in a kaleidoscope

Always performing this balancing act while I walk this tightrope

Though I manage to cope despite how weary I’ve grown to be

And it’s just fine by me you can stay at the shore while I’m drifting into the sea

2 thoughts on “Battles Within

  1. I think you were onto something with the roller coaster metaphor. It stuck out as one of the stronger points in the poem.
    I think there might be a typo at the start, did you mean pain rather than paint?


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